Have you ever felt out of step? Different? Kind of like the bird in this National Geographic photo? Yeah. Me too. My whole life I’ve been trying to get in step with the different drummer and it’s been exhausting. So I decided a few weeks ago to march to my own drummer. And you know what. I have energy for the first time in a long time. I have energy to go to the gym and workout. I have energy to walk my dog and enjoy it. I have energy to work. I feel good. I feel happy. The other thing I noticed when I started doing my own thing and marching to my own drummer, was how much other people hate it. They’re miserable, so they think you should be too.

People, dysfunctional, depressed and unhappy people that is, don’t support you when you start tapping into your personal power, start saying “No,” and start putting your own needs ahead of theirs. They don’t come right out and say it, but they will sabotage you. They’ll make snippy, cutting remarks, or a backhanded compliment. They’ll tell you that you can’t do something you know you’re good at. They are the cowards, the unhappy victims who are clinging desperately to whatever they think they can control - and that’s how you see yourself. They can’t control themselves because they hate themselves. But if they can get you feeling bad, or guilty, or ashamed, or uncertain - they’ll sure try to. It keeps them feeling and believing that they are superior. But they’re not.

Don’t fear them. Don’t hate them. Pity them. And walk away. It’s not until they learn that being a victim is a deadend, that no one is going to rescue them, and they they are responsible for the condition of their lives, just as you and I are responsible for the condition of ours - will they change. And sadly - many will never change.

But they are NOT your responsibility. YOU are your responsibility. Pursue your own health, your own needs, and your own goals and values. Don’t react to them and strike back. Pity them, pray for them, but walk away from them. If you don’t know how, or don’t have the strength, find a 12-step meeting in your area, one for co-dependents, or adult children of alcoholics….but learn how to set boundaries, to recognize the sound of the drums you were born to march to, and march to them.

“They,” don’t matter. The truth is, “they” is usually no more than a handful of people who’s opinion you value. The truth is, “Everyone,” or “They” are just as worried about being right and looking good and jumping to their perception of “they,” as you are. So get off that treadmill.

Listen to your inner soul. What do YOU want? What do YOU need? Meet that need. March that march. I promise you it will change your life - for the better.