Ever notice how your external life reflects what’s happening internally? You feel angry and pissy, the people around you react to you the same way. For those who are metaphysically inclined, it goes deeper of course.

This week I spent a lot of time in the Emergency Room with hives, and heat exhaustion and dehydration. When exiting the parking garage my mirror was smashed against a concrete post - shattering it into dozens of pieces and making it difficult, if not impossible to see what was coming up behind me. I couldn’t navigate because I didn’t know what was overtaking me, what was closing on me and when it was safe to change lanes. Oddly enough - that’s how my life feels right now.

I decided to hit the road and do the van tour again because the first time around I allowed other people to define who I was and what I was doing. This time, after TED, I decided to take my power back and do it on my own terms. Since I began the van has broken down repeatedly (not new), I’ve been sick (seriously ill) and all that can go wrong, has. Yet, I’ve also met some amazing people, had some wonderful days, good conversations and learned that there are people out there that do care.

This, I’ve decided, is the shattered mirror. Each fragment, every sliver reflects a different view of what is behind me. If I focused on the mirror, I could see okay - not easily, but I could see well enough to know whether I could change lanes. I replaced the mirror today and it’s wonderful of course. No straining, easy to see. But I also added an extra, smaller mirror that gives me a wider view in addition to straight mirror. Two versions - the wide, overall picture, and the narrow, immediate view.

There’s a lot more to think about, but it seemed important, in my Benedryl haze right now, to put this much down.

Perspective is everything. What we focus on - the negative, or the positive, determines how we will proceed. Everyone has it hard in their own way. While I was vomiting my guts out last night, thinking I was dying, hassling with hospital security guards being jerks over my staying in the parking lot while I slept off the medication (doctor’ approved) so I could drive today, I was really ready to give up. Up until a few hours ago, I was ready to end this tour before it began. Now as I look at the photos I took of the shattered mirror, I wonder. I might stop. I might keep going.

Success doesn’t come from talent. It comes from persistence. It comes from showing up and never giving up. It comes from taking the good with the bad and focusing on where we’re headed more than where we’ve been. I like to think my replacing the shattered mirror means I’ve replaced that attitude I was developing - that this time would be like last time. It won’t. I’m a writer. I’ve always been and will always be, a writer. Like with the shattered mirror, I lose sight of that view from time to time. But now I know that all I have to do is replace the mirror to get the clarity I need. What we focus on persists…..