Do you get frustrated and play the lottery, hoping to maybe, just maybe hit the winning numbers just once, usually when you’re feeling extra broke, or really desperate? Save your money. If you’re unable to manifest, accept or receive “riches” in your life right now - chances are you’re not going to attract the luck of the lottery. If our outer reality reflects our inner reality - meaning, our lives reflect what we believe about ourselves, then the lottery isn’t going to save you. It may come to you in order to teach you something - there’s a reason most lottery winners are broke again in five years!! but chances are you’re just wasting your dollar.

If you don’t ever buy a lottery ticket, chances are you’re still playing the lottery. Don’t believe me? Have you ever said any of these things:

“Okay, I’ll go on this blind date/to this dance/to this party/to this event. Maybe I’ll meet Mr/Ms Perfect this time.”

“This job will be different. Or, I’m going to quit this job and get another where they’ll respect, appreciate, respect and recognize my ability!”

“This diet is different. I know I’ll lose weight on it.”

You know the drill. Every time we look at a thing to change us, whether it’s money, love, people, jobs, cars, relationships, or vacations, homes, moving cross country, joining the military - whatever - it won’t last. We’ll feel hopeful, good, rich or whatever for a while, but unless we change inside, that outside is not going to last. Most lottery winners (million dollars and up) are broke again within five years - some of them within a year. When Oprah gave a homeless man $100,000, he blew it. He bought a $32,000 truck, an apartment and then went out and bought all of his friends cars. Then he was broke and homeless again. This, in spite of the opportunity to consult (free) with a financial planner who could help him learn how to take advantage of his windfall.

This is an extreme example, but it points out a very real truth - if we aren’t ready internally, if we don’t think we deserve something - we will do all we can to make sure those windfalls don’t stick around. We all “believe” we “deserve” a million dollars, but our subconscious - where our true self and our true beliefs about ourselves lie - control us. The work to get off of the street, out of a bad situation - begins inside. Many homeless people are homeless for less than a month. Homelessness is a wake-up call for them. Studies show that most people who are homeless once, don’t become homeless again - once they’re off the street.

I honestly believe that our circumstances reflect our deepest beliefs about what we deserve. I know millionaires with a lot of money, but no life. They’re alcoholics or drug addicts. Their friends are not friends. They’re hangers on who are there for the free food, rent and what they can get. Once the money is gone, so are they. Is that what “being rich” is? I know people whose paycheck just barely covers living expenses, but they have many friends, people who are there for them, who bring them meat (deer or fish), vegetables from their gardens, canned goods, and whatever they need - even without their asking. Their friends are there - being generous and helpful because THEY are generous and helpful. They give and it is returned to them, “pressed down and overflowing,” as the Bible promises.

Richness is a state of mind, not a number in our bank account. I’ve watched my circumstances crawl towards better times the last four years. I’m not in a mansion, or even an apartment yet, but I have more than I’ve had in a long time. My MacBook failed, but clients rallied to send me advances on their jobs so I could buy a new one. I eat regularly - and not just Ramen noodles and Mac and Cheese!!

Recently my van has “failed.” It runs, but needs about $800 worth of repairs to be street legal and to pass state inspection so I can drive it. My MacBook died. Other events in my life have shown me that everything is shaking, crumbling, changing. I call it a “hallway” event. I know windows and doors are closing so the one door - the “hallway door” can open. I know that soon, sooner than I’d like, I’ll be standing in a hallway - looking at other doors to pass through. Why? Because I’ve been working so hard on loving myself, on releasing the belief my parents instilled in me, that I was a waste, not worthy of love or even a place to live. They projected their self-hate of themselves on me and I bought into it. For 50 years I bought into it. But I’ve been changing that belief. It’s been hard. I look back at the year and a half of homelessness and realize it all started then. I escaped, then fell, escaped, then fell. No one learns to walk or do anything the first time out. We fail and try, fail and try. I did that. I have been doing that. I am doing that!

When I came back from TED Global 2009 with a chance to write my book and couldn’t write it - I fell back into “Who am I to tell other people how to get out? I’m not out yet. I have things to learn still.” And so I’ve been failing, falling, crawling out of hell, falling back in. The last 6 months have been fairly stable - and I’ve had a chance to look at who I am, where I am and what I believe. And I’m ready to finish the book.

Life does not work like a television sitcom, or a made for television movie. It’s dirty, ugly, hard at times. It takes months, years even - to move up. Few of our friends stick with us through it all. It’s a lonely process. But if you stick with it, you DO move forward.

The thing is, you can choose NOT to move, grow or change, but God/the universe will hit you in the head to get you to change if you want more. It’s how it works. I go into more about this in the book (Staying Hungry - how not to settle for what life puts on your plate).

I’m about to shift. I’m not happy with the mess it involves, but I’m thrilled at the knowledge that it’s a process - that I’m “moving up” because I now believe I do love myself more. My inner reality has changed, so my outer reality will change as well. And why wouldn’t I be happy about that?!

Are you waiting to win the lottery before you change? Are you trusting chance to bring you happiness? Stop. Look inside. Change YOU and your world will change. I guarantee it.