“We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be.”
– Kurt Vonnegut

Most of us don’t realize we’re pretending to be someone other than who we really are. Some of us do. Either way, few care. We say, “Well, that’s how the world works. I’ll get fired, my spouse will leave me, no one will love me if I am who I am, so I have to pretend to be something I”m not to get what I want.”

Sound familiar? Well, it’s true too. If you’re pretending to be something or someone that you aren’t, you probably will lose your job, your spouse and your life as you know it now. So why change? Because when you’re pretending to be something or someone you’re not, you attract the people, life, work that that person would attract!! If you stop pretending to be something you’re not, and are who you are, you attract the job, life, spouse that fits who you really are!! And you don’t have to expend all that energy pretending to be something or someone you’re not.

The really scary thing? Remember when your mother said, “Don’t frown like that. Your face will freeze in that position.” If you pretend to be something long enough - you do become it - and you lose your true self in the process. Do you love who you really are? Then pretend to be that person for a change and see what happens!

I pretended to be a corporate monkey - complete with heels, hose, makeup and a nice smile all the time. It wasn’t me. I hated it. I hated my life. I hated pretending. When I quit pretending and switched to who I was, I ended up doing what I love doing 40 to 80 hours a week - sitting at home or in my van - writing while wearing sweatpants or jeans. I make my own schedule, work my own hours, travel when I want to etc. There are other hassles, like no steady paycheck if I don’t work, having to pay for equipment breakdowns myself, and all the struggles that come with being an entrepreneur. But I’m willing to take those things over feeling trapped in corporate hell.

I’ve met couples and singles who live and work on sailboats, houseboats and one couple who works from an old tugboat they remodeled. He’s an architect, she’s an interior designer. They host client meeting in the marina where they live on the tug. You don’t think they have a great life!?! Clients LOVE coming out to tour the boat and feel like they’re talking to a couple who really “gets” different. And those are the clients they want. They don’t have to pretend to be anything they aren’t. It took them both a decade or two to decide that, but once they did, it all came together for them.

If you love the corporate rat race - go for it. Don’t pretend to be someone who loves family and a slower pace. But be who you want to be. Stop pretending. It’s hard - I know. But it’s possible.