Seth Godin asked members of his social media group Triiibes.com to nominate people they considered Linchpins in their lives. I only had to think for about oh - 30 seconds. There are a LOT of fantastic, supportive people in my life. They’re there off and on, gone for months, or there for a hard time, or whenever our schedules mesh. But of all the people I know, there’s one who has been there, and been consistent and steady. She’s always only a phone call or email away. Even when I haven’t talked to her I’ve seen her tweeting about me, or working behind the scenes to promote what I’m doing. She’s amazing. Her name is Patty Newbold and she is the ONE linchpin I nominated. Patty owns her own business, and on the side she has an incredible blog called “Assume Love.” It’s a blog about getting marriage right. Patty has been married twice - becoming a widow the first time around opened her eyes to a way of looking at love and marriage that escapes many people. If you’re in a relationship, married, or thinking about it, please read her blog, listen to her podcasts or free teleconferences. Her approach is amazing! It’s that passion and dedication to finding and promoting the best in people that makes Patty a linchpin. It’s NOT just me she treats so well - it’s everyone she comes in contact with!

Here’s what I had/have to say about Patty:

It wasn’t too many of my blog posts in (on Triiibes.com), perhaps the first couple of weeks, that Patty emailed me and said she wanted to get to know me. When I asked her why she said something to the effect of “I know a star when I see one. I think it’d be fun to go along for the ride.”

She was honest, supportive and encouraging, as so many of you are. But she was more than that. She was committed. That, to me is what makes the difference in a great person and a linchpin. She made a decision early on to be with me, to see me and us both really, through to the stars. And she’s hung in there and done that. She nominates me for things and calls quiet subtle attention to me when she meets people that she thinks I’ll benefit from knowing. She is a silent, consistent partner and friend.

When I got the news that I had been selected to speak at TED, she and her husband Ed sat in their living room with me while I screamed, “I’m speaking at TED!! I’m speaking at TED!” for a solid 20 or 30 minutes. And they smiled through the whole thing. My joy was their joy.

When I drove up in Oct. for the first Triiibes event in NYC, I stayed with them and Patty drove us up. She tolerated my “new to the big city” fascination and filming of taxi cabs and cops. She was patient when I stopped to stare at big buildings. She sat with me at Seth’s talk and was, of all the Triiibes members I knew then, a real friend - not just someone I met on Triiibes. Patty and her husband Ed hosted me in their home - regularly. Generously. They didn’t roll their eyes or laugh on those cool nights I chose to sleep in the van with my separation anxiety inflicted Rottweiler. In the South we call that “style and grace.” I think everywhere else they call it “class.”

Patty gave more than encouragement and support. She gave of herself. She shared her own struggles, doubts and successes. She was three dimensional. I’ve never felt like she expected anything in return, although I feel like I’ll never be able to repay her.

Over the next year Patty and Ed offered their spare room or parking lot to both me and my Rottweiler and Patty, who is not “an animal person,” even walked Koko. Koko, who isn’t much of a “people dog” immediately took to her, not barking once at her.

When I decided to lose 100 pounds this year I turned to Patty, who’s lost that and more, for advice. When my tendency is to see the worst in a situation, Patty is there to offer the best scenario and to ask the tough questions that force me to re-evaluate someone’s intent or the way I should handle it.

More than just hospitality, Patty has provided perspective, listening to my whining, hair-brained ideas, to my concerns, outrages, questions and just general “beckiness” and truly cared and worked overtime to find solutions or ways to help me define my dreams. She led a Success Team I was on, she tweeted consistently about each of my successes. When I wailed and cried and struggled with my TED talk, she helped me focus. “Not good enough,” she said to every draft of my speech. “You can do better.” She said this not once, but three times!!! She dared to push me to my limits, to my potential.

She referred clients to me, enabling me to afford to make the money I needed to go to TED. She was the last person I talked to and the first person I called when I returned from TED - because of all the people in my life, Patty “GETS” what it means to be a friend, a supporter, an encourager and a linchpin. And I’m NOT the only person she does this for. She does it for dozens, if not hundreds.

But it wasn’t any of the million brilliant, caring, time intensive labors of love and friendship that make Patty a linchpin. It’s the fact that she saw more in me than my rough edges, quick temper, mouthy opinions, and hairpin spontaneity. Patty saw my heart. She saw my talent yes, but there are lots of talented people here on triiibes. She was one of the few who could look past my temper, and see my pain; look past my fears and see my courage; look past my failures and see my future.

As I’ve watched Patty interaction with others, and read her blog and seen her dedication to her husband, her son, her grandchildren and daughter-in-law I know that all she has done for and with me is NOT just because I might be somebody one day. It’s just Patty’s nature to be this way.

I hope you’ll all understand that while many of you have been there at rough times in my life, Patty has been the lighthouse on the rock, always there, always consistent, always patient. She is amazing. Call her a rockstar, a saint, an angel, the spirit of Triiibes, or whatever you like, but at her core she is a linchpin.

To leave a comment on the Linchpin page on Squidoo go to: http://www.squidoo.com/lensmaster/new_workshop/patty-newbold-assume…