This past month I’ve been reading 9 Things You Simply Must Do to Succeed in Love and Life: A Psychologist Learns from His Patients What Really Works and What Doesn’t Okay, I love Dr. Cloud’s books. They are ALL so good, so very, very good. This is one of his best.

And, I’m on Principle 5 of the 9 things (principles) you must do for a happy and successful life. This is a tough one. His advice is “don’t take the shortcuts.” By that he means, quit looking for a quick fix, a get rich, get healthy plan that you can do fast. He advocates building a life, a job, a skill, a relationship one grain of sand at a time - like an ant would build a nest. He even uses his own life and his pursuit of his PhD as an example. He actually got an ant farm and watched it every day. He was amazed at the progress all these ants made - ONE grain of sand at a time. Baby steps. So he broke down the task he had of writing his dissertation into baby steps. Make a phone call. Talk to his advisor. Come up with a thesis. He did one thing at a time and didn’t allow himself to become overwhelmed with it. And he succeeded where thousands of doctoral students don’t. His advice now is hard won and proven. Apply yourself diligently and handle the small steps and in time you’ll succeed.

The example (one of them) he used that most impressed me was the fact that John Grisham, a busy attorney at the time, decided to write a novel. He wrote one page a day for three years. THREE years. The book was, “A Time to Kill.” Now he writes a lot more than he practices law. Three years. One page at a time. I’m more of a NanoWriMo burnout - start out strong and crash halfway through the month. I’ve never been able to finish 50,000 words in 30 days even though hundreds of people do. Why? They set a goal and write a set number of words every day. And it’s doable that way. It’s not how I’ve done it however.

I’m of the do-it-now-do-it-fast school and obviously it hasn’t worked for me. I can blame it on my upbringing, but the fact is, I know now that it doesn’t work. It’s up to me to change it. I’m an adult. I make my own decisions and I can’t blame anyone else.

I know you can’t lose 50 pounds in a month and hope to keep it off unless you’re on The Biggest Loser of course. But I still want to do it that way. Intellectually I know that changing my life so I walk an extra 500 steps a day, or eat breakfast and cut out 3 of the 4 sodas I drink a day can make a difference in a year. If I’d done it when I was 30, without the shortcuts, I’d be skinny now. But the shortcuts have made it take 20 years and I’m still hoping to find the 10 day diet to lose 10 pounds a day. I want it all NOW. Today. But Cloud is right. We can’t keep up those big changes. We have to make the small ones if we want to sustain it over time.

I have a storage unit that is wall-to-wall chaos. I tell myself I’m going to take a week off and tackle the clean, toss and reorganize the shed chore. But I know I’ll fail. I’ll get it all pulled out and won’t finish. So it’ll go back in the unit in piles, not boxes. I know that because that’s what happened last time I tackled it.

When your life is a total wreck - financial, relationship, family, job, career - I mean EVERYTHING is in the toilet, I understand - you want it fixed yesterday. The stress is tremendous. I know. I’m there. But Cloud has an excellent point. Do things one tiny little thing at a time. And keep doing them. True, when you have 100 or 200 pounds to lose it takes longer and you don’t see the changes as quickly as you would if you only had 20 or 30 pounds to lose. If you have $50,000 or $100,000 worth of debt to pay off it’s going to take longer than if you have $10,000 or less. But the point is, if you keep wearing it away, chipping, chipping, chipping….it will come down. Keep saving and it does add up. Keep showing up and someone will notice.

I figure I have a million grains of sand to move right now - with work, self-improvement, financial lessons and paying off my debts and organizing everything from my van to my storage unit, to my life - but I’m going to try it Cloud’s way this time - one small thing at a time. It may take a few years, but heck - five years is going to pass whether I’m doing those things or not - so I might as well be where I want to be in five years than trapped where I am now - right?

Okay - so ONE brick at a time, one grain of sand at a time, one page at a time. Let’s do it. Do it with me. Commit to one small thing, one small step. And let’s see where it takes us. If John Grisham, and J.K. Rowling and so many others could do it…so can we.