Okay. It made my day. Suze Orman, internationally acclaimed financial wizard, Oprah money guru, and kick-ass woman, LIVED and WORKED out of a van in her 20’s. Just freaking made my day. Changed my whole attitude and perception of her as someone who “doesn’t understand us paycheck-to-paycheck” people.

And I quote, from her book Women & Money: Owning the Power to Control Your Destiny

“I borrowed $1,500 from my brother to buy a Ford Econoline van and, with the help of my friend Mary Corlin (a great friend to this day), converted the van into a place I could sleep during the drive across country. With $300 and a converted van to my name, we set out to see America…..”

During that trip they stopped to watch a crew clearing trees and ended up landing their first jobs – as tree clearers. For two months, she writes, they lived out of the van and used a friend’s house to shower.

Suze joins a LONG line of famous people who have lived and worked out of their vans.

Jewel, the singer, and her mother shared side-by-side vans parked near the ocean while she pursued a singing career.

Steven Pressfield, best-selling author of The War of Art: Break Through the Blocks and Win Your Inner Creative Battles
and Gates of Fire: An Epic Novel of the Battle of Thermopylae
among many others, lived in a van with his cat before overcoming resistance and coming into his own as the writer he is.

I won’t bore you with the rest, but click under the menu bar at the top of this website under How-To and see dozens of other famous homeless people.

I think what caught my attention is the fact that when we’re YOUNG – like under 30, we see life as an adventure, and living in a van and traveling and working along the way, as an adventure. When you’re 35, 40 or 50, the mind thinks, “Oh no, I’m becoming a bag lady.” Not everyone falls into this trap though. I did. It took me a while to remember I was a writer, and not just “a homeless woman.” When I quit allowing other people to define me, and to define who I was and how I viewed myself, things changed for me.

It’s not just a one-time thing – change your thoughts and change your life. It’s a journey. Trite and cliche, but true. You change, must change your thoughts every day for your life to change. Ever since I redefined myself in 2007 and said, “I’m a writer. I’m a writer,” I began changing those neural ruts in my brain that would prefer I stick with the “I’m a homeless woman,” mantra, and the “You’re worthless and stupid,” programming my parents instilled in me.

It takes hard work to change. No one hands it to you, or gives it to you. If you want it, you have to go after it. Suze Orman did. So did the hundreds of others who made it after a stint on the streets.

Perhaps out of all the people I’ve read about, Suze is the one who impresses me most. After her short work as a tree clearer, she became a waitress. After six years as a waitress she decided she wanted to open a restaurant. Customers she’d served for 6 years got together and loaned her $50,000 to do just that. But when she invested that money with a broker at Merrill Lynch, she placed it with a broker who basically lost her entire investment – by investing in high risk stocks against all professional ethical standards. She went from having her dream in the palm of her hand to penniless (thank you Merrill Lynch). But, she didn’t give up. She applied to become a broker (remind you of anyone else? Like maybe Christopher Gardner, in The Pursuit of Happyness “>The Pursuit of Happyness? He too was homeless and became a broker and is now a multi-millionaire.

Anyway, Suze was interviewed by a number of Merrill Lynch folks – all of whom thought there was no room for women in a brokerage firm and one who even said he thought women should be pregnant and barefoot…(I don’t think I’ll use Merrill Lynch as an investment firm when I become rich…) But she got the job. As she learned how she had been screwed over by the guy in the firm she went to her bosses and complained – was essentially told to shut up. So she sued Merrill Lynch. Yay!!! And WON!!! BIG YAY!! They settled with her out of court and she got her money back and was able to repay her investors. (don’t you love a happy ending).

Suze went on to become the person she is now – not without a lot more drama and the usual “Hero’s saga.”

As with all “Rags-to-riches” type stories, what is impressive is how the one thing that drives us all is PERCEPTION OF SELF. In other words, ATTITUDE. I said it in my TED talk, and I’ll say it again. Homelessness is a matter of attitude. Change your thoughts and you change your circumstances – maybe not overnight, but be consistent and persistent and they WILL change. It’s been four years since I moved into the van, and I’m still working on it. I think this is my year to finish the book and move up. Is it your year? Are you just starting out? Struggling? Wondering how to change? Start with watching your thoughts. Then start reading the biographies of people who have moved beyond their circumstances.

You CAN change if you want it badly enough. Over this next year I’m going to be posting more articles on how to do that. And, to those who sign up, or have signed up for my newsletter? You’ll get all the tips – FREE. I can do this. YOU can do this. Together, we can do this! And if you want to get her book – BUY it through Amazon.com by clicking on the graphic below. Thanks!

Thirty minutes ago I was panicked. After a $400 doctor’s visit, a few days in a campground and some unexpected expenses (like a couple of tanks of gas after getting lost in the Virginia countryside – at $55 a tank) I was down, literally, to about $8 until Friday. Not as bad as it has been in the past, and yes, there are millions worse off, but it made me nervous. I felt scared, worried (the gas gauge on the van doesn’t work. I have to estimate my mileage and per gallon use) and I dreaded another night in the rain because I couldn’t “afford” to head south til tomorrow.

Three nights in the rain – that’s okay. I stayed warm, I have food, but I didn’t want to HAVE to STAY here because I was out of gas. For those who think the TED video brought me fortune, think again. I’m still a working stiff. A better known working stiff, but a working stiff.

Then I got an email. My paycheck (I write regularly for hack wages for a website that loved me before I figured out I could make more $$ per hour. They earned my loyalty for being such good folks!) came through – and with $$ came freedom. Freedom to fill up my tank, to buy lunch at this wonderful Bistro whose wifi I’m snagging for free, and to head south – toward warmer weather.

The relief at getting the deposit a day early was palpable. And for a minute or two the image of the other two van-dwellers I’ve been sharing a parking lot with at both Panera (for the wifi) and Wal-Mart, flashed into my head. One of the two was in a Chinook RV. We sort of followed each other from Panera and Borders to Wal-Mart and back, and shared the back lot a couple of nights. I wondered if he/she or the other van dweller (never saw either of them, only their rigs) go through the same thing.

If you’re homeless, you depend on handouts, day jobs, social security, pan-handling, part-time jobs or selling things (flea market, thrift stores etc) for money. The last time I lived in the van I PLANNED to freelance as I am now. That fell through and I got a job. This time, I have several steady clients, my webwork and “an income” of sorts. I’m working on a book (praying for a solid advance), and while I’m not rich by any stretch of the imagination, I’m not stuck in Denver waiting on minimum wage either. It’s feast or famine, but I don’t go hungry any more. There were weeks in Denver when I went for 3-4 days without food so I’d have gas money to get to work. I’d eat whatever birthday cake or snacks co-workers brought in. I lost almost 70 pounds that year. I’ve gained most of it back. Maybe I’ll rethink the fast food this time. Definitely!

I keep thinking about the TED talk and the difference between “being homeless,” and simply living in a van. I know it is attitude. But it’s also money. It’s definitely money – because having the money gives you the attitude and the power to make choices. Being homeless is a lot about not having choices.

I talked to a guy at a gas station filling up his RV and asked if he was a “full-timer” (he was driving a very expensive RV). He laughed and said, “Yeah, we’re officially homeless now,” like it was a fun thing. And for he and his wife, it IS fun to be “houseless,” but he’s not homeless. I’m houseless, but I’m not homeless. The difference? Attitude and money and choice.

I read the comments on the TED page and see that half the people “get it” and half want to argue about whether living in a van and hiding your living situation from the world while holding down a job is homelessness or not. I want the conversation to spread – what is homelessness? What is poverty? Why do we value people based on their money, their bank accounts? Even the self-help books and Suze Orman remind us that our bank accounts and our level of debt are indicators of who we are as people. That – our self esteem, our own value – how we treat ourselves, is reflected in how much money we have. And I have to wonder about that. Is it really?

When I was a child I dreamed of being a hobo – hopping freight trains and camping, traveling around to see the country. I hopped a train to school as a child. It saved me walking 2 miles. But when a friend fell off and under the train and died, I stopped hopping trains. Later, while working for a government office as a graphic artist, I was crossing the parking lot when a slow moving train rolled through. In a skirt and heels I hopped it…just stepped up on the ladder like I’d been doing it all my life. I rode the train for a couple of long, lazy blocks, laughing at the looks I got, then stepping down when the train slowed to a stop. It was the freedom I valued, not the lifestyle. As a police officer I learned later that riding the rails is a dangerous, dangerous lifestyle. So what is it really? I think homelessness, success, life – is all about a lot of things – primarily though, it’s about freedom, and the money that we think we need, and do need, to be free in ways that matter.

How I felt about myself BEFORE the deposit, and how I felt about myself AFTER, bothers me. I should feel/think of myself the same – regardless. Why didn’t I? Is it the freedom I have because I can BUY my way wherever I’m going now that makes me feel relief? Now that I can PAY my way (gas, food etc) I’m just another traveler right?

This thing we call freedom, whether freedom of speech, freedom of movement, freedom to obtain quality medical care, what is it really that makes us homeless? Is it connection with others? I don’t know. It’s why I decided to move back into the van again. It’s an important question. Because it will help us define homelessness, and more importantly, help us find a solution. People should not have to live in tents, in cardboard boxes, in gutters and cars and storage units.

There are many, many homeless who are mentally ill, addicted, unable to work. There are more who don’t want to work, who don’t want to be responsible. Ask anyone who works with the homeless. There’s a mix. There are still more who DO want to work, who could move into a home or house or shelter IF there were affordable options. I dare any of you to afford a $900 or $1,200 apartment on minimum wage. Yet, the so-called “affordable” housing (the $450 to $800) is in crime infested areas with drugs, gangs and run-down housing. But where do services go? To the wealthy areas. The poor pay taxes, but don’t get the services.

It’s all about the money. It’s all about the freedom. It’s all about ????? What do you think it’s about? What REALLY makes you homeless? Is it not having a home/house? What if you don’t want a house? Can a van or RV or campground be a HOME? Is it about choices? Is it about a job? Money? What do you think?

Pandhandling homeless people have a variety of signs – many asking for money – a handout. Some plead, “Will work for food,” but then often decline the job, and never turn down money or food. At the center of the homeless debate or issue is one thing – money. If I’d had enough money I’d never have become homeless. If I managed it, saved it and used it better, I’d never have been homeless. That’s true for anyone and everyone who has become homeless. Throw enough money at something and you “solve” the problem. Or do you?

I recently read a fantastic article by Suze Orman about money in the Sept. 2009 issue of Oprah’s magazine, “O.” If you haven’t read it, do. The name of the article is: “What Money Has Taught Me About Personal Power.” You can read it free by clicking on the article link.

She rocked my world. Although I tend to be amused and cynical about Suze since she often struggles with the problems of “How to Get By on Only $50,000 a Year,” and so on….instead of things like, “How to Survive and Thrive on Less Than $500 a Month,” I’ll forgive her. She’s forgotten her waitressing roots I guess. Most of us are not struggling to manage $50,000 a year, but $5,000 to $20,000 a year.

But as I read her article and her crying poor about wearing a Cartier watch worth a down payment on a house, I had to admit that she made some good points about money in general. I grew up with a father who forbid me having any money. He would take away any money I earned or saved. Money was something to be controlled by him, doled out by him and it’s expenditures dictated by him. So when I got money I learned to SPEND it. Didn’t matter on what, but it was usually food – since THINGS I bought were immediately confiscated or given away to “more deserving children.” So money and I haven’t ever really been friends EVER.

I learned instead to barter, to trade, to do things for FREE, hoping that I was building up a bank of goodwill and chips I could cash in down the road. I found out it’s not a very good banking system. And it doesn’t pay the bills. So recently (last year or two), I’ve struggled with charging people cold hard stuff for what I do. And it’s been interesting. Those who didn’t know me before, pay me. Those who were used to getting a LOT for free or reduced rates, or barter, weren’t happy. The gravy train ran dry, or has been running dry. It’s been a hard year. I don’t like to displease people. But I don’t like being broke either. Not the struggling to get by on $50,000 a year broke, but the “I have literally no money,” broke.

So, Suze’s article was awesome. She echoed what I know about money intellectually, namely:

(1) Power comes from who you are, not what you have
(2) Money has no power of its own
(3) Self-worth builds net-worth
(4) Do what’s right, not what’s easy
(5) Ignorance is not bliss where money is concerned
(6) How you respect your possessions says a lot about how you respect yourself

It’s a hard road to walk – this self-respect, I am okay, it’s okay to be/have power road. So many homeless, or poor, or people struggling with financial issues look at their lives and the mess they’re in and say, “Nice thought, but you don’t understand MY situation.”

Well, I do. Bottom line – money, self-esteem, it all gets rolled into one big mess. I get emails all the time from people who tell me, “I’m working two minimum wage jobs so I can afford to do what I love…” and then I learn that what they love is worth $1,500 or $5,000. They’re getting the “jobs,” but are reluctant to charge for the work because “I want to help people who can’t afford it.” Well, charge the people who can and give it to those who can’t, but charge! Then I see myself in them and oh. Yeah. Follow your own advice Becky. It’s not really about giving to those who can’t afford it. It’s about feeling we’re worth it. It’s about valuing ourselves, our time, our talents, our energy. It’s about saying, “I have something of value to give the world.” And then – it’s about believing that.

My father has been dead almost four years. He can’t take my money away from me anymore. But like so many people, the lessons learned in childhood stick. Do yours?

So I made this sign today…and I made it on cardboard so I’d remember that yes, I will work, for money. And I won’t forget the “homeless attitude,” or the thing that will keep me out of homelessness again – respecting self, respecting money, finding power in both.

So many of us put other’s needs ahead of our own. We give and give and give – and the truth is, we’re not giving out of altruism. We’re giving because we want to be loved. We give because we feel guilty. We give because we were taught to. We give because we think it’s what God wants us to do. We give because we secretly hope others will give back. But TRUE giving…the giving that COUNTS, is giving to OURSELVES. Give YOURSELF the time, the money, the right to say “NO” to people who have requests you don’t want to fulfill.

Start with one thing. I am. Realize that it will take time. Reward yourself with a pat on the back when you do something for yourself. Loving yourself well is the first step towards loving others. Someone asked me recently if I worked Saturday and Sunday. Yes! I replied!! But the answer should have been, “Sometimes, and only when there’s a damn good reason and I charge double.”

This money thing is a bear, but it can be harnessed. I’m working on it. I hope you’ll join me. What’s your biggest challenge with money? Start the conversation.